My sweet boy

R is not nearly as outgoing as big sister and little brother, nor is he very academic (his knowledge lies in other areas), but he is incredibly kind, sensitive and empathetic. Just yesterday the kids were playing at a park. R got in line for the slide. J walked up to go on the slide also. Immediately R put his arm around J, pulling him close and said "Pie Pie you go ahead of me". He constantly makes me proud of his sweet temperment. Many times since papa died, he will tell me he feels bad for nanny since she is alone now. He also asks how I'm feeling and wonders whether I miss papa. These things wouldn't be so significant if he was a much older child, but he is only 4. I adore this boys sweet heart and feel honored to be his mother.

Daydreams

6 years ago while waiting for our referral for E, I would daydream about when the call would come. In my head I had decided it would come on our anniversary which is June 10th (since Korea has a three year marriage requirement). Amazingly as we were celebrating our anniversary a day early, on June 9th (because Daddy had to work on the 10th) we received a call from our SW telling us they had matched us with a beautiful baby girl. We were thrilled. The next morning we were given the most amazing anniversary present, the first photo of our daughter.

Still waiting

We turned in our application to adopt a 4th child just over 3 months ago. I felt certain we would have a referral long before now, but we are still waiting. Although this process is not new to us, for some reason this wait has been particularly difficult. Many times I have questioned whether we are making the right decision, but Jesse assures me this is my defense mechanism- If I can't have what I want now, I no longer want it. In the past week, I have begun to realize what the real problem is...I can't take the emotional rollercoaster. Everytime the phone rings I jump, only to be disappointed when it's not Dillon. I know our baby is out there and he/she will come to us at just the right time, but that doesn't make it any easier. Hoping my next post brings good news.