Halloween Pictures

My Trick or Treaters- J was not happy at all about his costume and repeatedly told us "off off off" until he began to get candy. Since our weather was way too warm, R could not wear his fighter pilot costume but was more than happy to be a "pleaceman".

Is she a good witch or a bad witch, that is the question.

Had to include a picture of Daddy's pumpkin.

A really heavy load

I'm often chastised by family and friends for being too thin. Believe me, people can actually be just as mean about this than if I was heavy. I've been told way too many times how horrible I look or some other negativity in regards to my weight. The problem for me is having 3 very young children. I tell people they are sucking the life out of me (more specifically the weight). Tonight was the perfect example. We went to a Halloween carnival with Nanny. I had J in the Ergo and was actually wearing him in front for the warmth. As we were leaving R started to drag (it's tough being three in a six year old body). I asked Nanny to take my bag and then put R on my back. Needless to say, carrying 70 lbs. of kids on my 110 lb frame was tough, but we sure got to the car quicker than if R had been walking.

Still my favorite baby purchase...

the Ergo. Although J is about 28 lbs. (about 1/4 of my weight), I still love to carry him in it. Usually he is content to be in it, unless he feels he is missing out on something (ie. sitting in the toy cars at Toys R Us). We did go through a period when we were struggling with attachment/his independence that he refused to be worn, but fortunately we have moved past that. Because he is getting so big, my hips start to go numb after awhile, but it's well worth it to feel him snuggled so close to me.

For the first time in over 5 years...

we do not have a crib in our house. Although J is almost 28 months, he was very comfortable in his crib. We tried taking him out shortly before he was 2, but he wanted no part of it. Unfortunately a little over a week ago, he discovered he could climb out- obviously that meant the end of it. We had a rough couple of days getting him comfortable in his new bed (which is just a mattress on the floor for now) and making him stay in his room, but he finally gets the idea and is sleeping soundly again. The pictures below make me a little sad, nonetheless, I am excited to move on to the next step.

We're almost there

Those outside the adoption world really don't get the attachment thing, but it is very real and sometimes very painful. Before my oldest came home, like many others I mistakenly believed all I had to do was love my little 4 month old baby when he/she came home and that would be that. 3 kids later, and I know that isn't always enough. E and R showed their difficulties right from the beginning, but J (being the little booger he is) really threw us for a loop. He had a fairly lengthy honeymoon period. Even our social worker believed "3rd times a charm". He seemed to grieve initially and then slowly moved on. It all felt so right. At 18 months (14 months after coming home) we realized things weren't quite as we had thought. In hindsight, things started going downhill at 12 months, but they were so minor and went so slowly we didn't realize it until later. When we realized he was struggling, we visited with our social worker who confirmed what I was thinking- anxious attachment. 9 months after diagnosis and a lot of hard work, J is finally getting there. I can't say he is absolutely in love yet (there is a difference between loving us and being in love with us), but he is close.

Today Daddy set up the "jumpy thing" and J was very nervous about it. Instead of having a breakdown and crying like he has done in the past, he came to me and let me snuggle him. We sat this way for about 10 minutes until he decided it was okay to ignore it and go play. It felt so good to have him melt into my arms this way knowing that he could trust me to keep him safe.

They're all different

Sure everyone says this about kids, but sometimes it's more obvious than others. No doubt E is brilliant and has always picked things up quickly, so unfortunately the boys are often compared to her. J takes longer, but is extremely determined and has learned quite a few things very early (ie. shapes by 23 months and letters by 27 months). R on the other hand has always done things at his own pace. He cannot be pushed or he literally turns into a brick wall. He has never memorized (to sing) nursery rhymes like other kids, didn't master his shapes until after 3 and had no interest in anything else academic. Lately though (with a little bit of pressure from baby brother), he has become more and more interested in the academic. He can verbally recall 22 letters of the alphabet and is able to point to the last 4 if laid out. Today we went to the mall and once in the elevator I asked him to push the number 1 which he found with no problem. When we needed to go back upstairs, he found the number 2 for me. Neither the letters nor the numbers would be that significant for a child who had attended pre school, or worked many hours with his Mama, but those things didn't happen, he has learned these early skills exclusively through play. Once again I am so proud of my sweet boy.

When is it my turn Mom?

When she was little, I mistakenly believed that E was painfully shy. I have since discovered that like her Mommy, she is only shy when she is the only one in a group who doesn't know anyone. She will however slowly warm up if given the chance.
The times that E isn't shy is when it's one on one. E (at the ripe old age of 5 1/2 ) incorrectly assumes that when people come to our house they are there to see (and chat with) her. Too many times I have had to send her to her room becasue she is monopolizing the conversation with someone as important as J's previous speech pathologist. Today I was chatting with a previous coworker "S". During the conversation, E pulls her chair closer and says "When is it my turn to talk Mom". Much to her dismay, I told her she wouldn't get a chance since S was there to chat only with me. Fortunately E is a pretty resilient kid so, if her feelings were just a bit bruised, she moved on quickly.