Deep in her heart

Tonight I went to kiss my kids before I got in bed. When I leaned down to give E a kiss, she reached up and tightly grabbed my neck. I laid down for just a moment enjoying the sweet embrace. To most this would be no big deal, but for those of us who have at one time struggled with the attachment issues that so often can follow adoption, this was the most amazing feeling in the world. Deep in her heart (and fast asleep) she knew I was her Mommy and felt safe. Once again I am amazed that of all the people in the world, I was chosen to be her Mommy. I have been truly blessed.

A funny from E's teacher

Tonght I received an email from E's teacher about a conversation they had at recess today.

...I just have to tell you what E said to me today. She came up to me at recess and said, "You know Mrs. B...I really like her hair." To which I replied, "Yes, she does have nice hair." E looked up at me for a few seconds and then said, "You know...you should try to have hair like hers!" I just busted up laughing! Gotta love first graders...they tell it like it is! :)

Obviously I am used to these comments from E. She is often disappointed that I don't wear more makeup, high heel shoes or "more professional" clothes but hearing her say them to someone else is just mortifying. Oh well, I'm sure it won't be the last time.

R-E-D Red R-E-D Red I can spell Red

Fire trucks are Red, Stop signs are Red too R-E-D R-E-D.

For the past week, R has been learning this song in preschool. Last week I emailed Ms. Stacy telling her that R was singing to himself during naptime. Today Ms. Stacy sent me a note telling me he sang it solo to the class. I can't believe that my shy sweet boy is really coming out of his shell. He is becoming so confident and grown up. I am so proud to be his Momma.

Lasagna

is really a silly word. We definitely don't pronounce it the way it's spelled. Not surprisingly though, E read it correctly right off my grocery list today. I continue to be amazed with her reading.

I600 approved...or not

Today we received our I600 approval. This is an important step on the US side of things. There is however a glitch. The beneficiary (the baby) is wrong. It's a totally different name. Hoping this is a quickie fix.

Brand new shoes- too tight?

R came home from school on the second day complaining that his shoes were too tight. After a second or two of worrying, I decided it must be because Sketchers tend to fit a little smaller and I should have R wear a pair of his E's socks (girl socks are thinner).

When he continued to complain on the third day I began to panic. Would we have to buy new shoes? Would he understand if I couldn't afford the same $50 ones that nanny bought? I decided to try and stretch them out by shoving baby brother's shoe inside. At the end of the night, I took J's shoe out, and thought I noticed a little stretching. Hopefully it would be enough. Before I put them away, I shook the sand out. Not sure if I had gotten all of it, I put my hand inside....No wonder his shoe felt too tight, there was a sock shoved way up in the toe.

Needless to say, no complaints at the end of the fourth day.

1 step down, 4 to go

On Monday August 10th we got an email from Dillon Southwest indicating that they had received Ms. M's legals. These papers are necessary for us to apply for her I600 (immigrant visa). Hoping that things continue to move along.

Day 3

Woo hoo success. J willingly climbed on the bus today Ms. Stacy said he had a great day. Both of us agree having R and J in class together will be beneficial to all (including me ;-) )

Day 2 (part 2)

Like Papa I try to change the world (at least my little portion of it) while laying in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Last night I did just this. I realized that although I wanted R to be in a class with mostly 4 year olds, no nap was not going to cut it. I decided he needed to switch to the morning class. I immediately emailed Ms. Stacy asking her opinion. She agreed that morning might be best and thought the two boys would be fine in class together. I made all my phone calls to the preschool office and transportation and set it up. Now, not only will the boys be in the same class together, but all three of my children will be at school in the morning leaving me with three hours to myself. What will I do with myself?

Day 2

Today J knew what was coming. He immediately began to cry when the bus pulled up. The aide on the bus had to take him from my arms and quickly strap him into his seat. Even though I knew he would get used to it, I felt so bad for him that I cried.

Day 1 (the first day of school 09/10)

School started on Monday August 10th. Not only were the kids excited, but so was I. NO MORE FIGHTING- YAY. E was was so proud to be going to first grade. She had gotten the teacher she wanted and had a few friends in the class. R was low key as usual, but was thrilled to be riding the bus again and I was happy he had Ms. Stacy as a teacher. J... yeah, he really had no clue what he was in for (but I knew Ms. Stacy would take care of him). The first day he got right on the bus, but apparantly cried a few times at school. Now for the best part...

Miss M

We received the referral of our baby girl on July 9 (@2 in the afternoon). She was born February 1st. She is just gorgeous and we are in love.

She is probably less than a month old in this picture.

This picture was probably taken a week or two weeks ago (@5 months)

My sweet boy

R is not nearly as outgoing as big sister and little brother, nor is he very academic (his knowledge lies in other areas), but he is incredibly kind, sensitive and empathetic. Just yesterday the kids were playing at a park. R got in line for the slide. J walked up to go on the slide also. Immediately R put his arm around J, pulling him close and said "Pie Pie you go ahead of me". He constantly makes me proud of his sweet temperment. Many times since papa died, he will tell me he feels bad for nanny since she is alone now. He also asks how I'm feeling and wonders whether I miss papa. These things wouldn't be so significant if he was a much older child, but he is only 4. I adore this boys sweet heart and feel honored to be his mother.

Daydreams

6 years ago while waiting for our referral for E, I would daydream about when the call would come. In my head I had decided it would come on our anniversary which is June 10th (since Korea has a three year marriage requirement). Amazingly as we were celebrating our anniversary a day early, on June 9th (because Daddy had to work on the 10th) we received a call from our SW telling us they had matched us with a beautiful baby girl. We were thrilled. The next morning we were given the most amazing anniversary present, the first photo of our daughter.

Still waiting

We turned in our application to adopt a 4th child just over 3 months ago. I felt certain we would have a referral long before now, but we are still waiting. Although this process is not new to us, for some reason this wait has been particularly difficult. Many times I have questioned whether we are making the right decision, but Jesse assures me this is my defense mechanism- If I can't have what I want now, I no longer want it. In the past week, I have begun to realize what the real problem is...I can't take the emotional rollercoaster. Everytime the phone rings I jump, only to be disappointed when it's not Dillon. I know our baby is out there and he/she will come to us at just the right time, but that doesn't make it any easier. Hoping my next post brings good news.

Never sicker

About 2 weeks ago, at the height of the swine flu scare we all became extremely ill. It was the worst week of my life. All 5 of us were sick for 7 days straight. The pediatrician confirmed my fear- "this could very well be the swine flu". He never tested us, but there is no doubt in my mind... I have never been more sick in my entire life.

Our birthday girl

We celebrated E's birthday with a waterslide in the backyard for all of her friends. Although the water was cold, they all seemed to have a really great time.

#4

3 weeks ago tomorrow we turned in our application for baby #4. We have been told things are moving pretty quickly, so hope for a referral within the next couple of weeks, then 3-4 months after that for travel. We have decided to take all 3 kids and my mom, so it should be quite the adventure. We did "request" a girl this time (which seems weird to us since the other 3 times we had no preference), hoping to balance things out, but will be equally happy with a boy. Stay tuned for more info. and cross your fingers/say a prayer, rub your lucky rabbits foot that things go quickly.

I'm a wreck

My sweet R is off to preschool tomorrow. After being tested at 3 and 3 1/2, finally at 4 he qualified for speech services. I know he will do fine (at least I hope so since he is soooo sensitive and slow to warm up), but I will be a wreck. Fortunately for me, he is in afternoon preschool, so maybe J and I can take a nap so I don't have to worry the entire time he is gone.

Lollipop Mama

Strangely enough, these are the most important words we hear from J all day, because they mean he is telling us he has to go "poo poo on potty". He is now fully trained YEA. About 3 weeks ago, I decided that unless he had success, he was not going to wear undies (regardless of how many time he begged for them). We quit and less than a week later, he began to initiate the training. He was pee pee trained in a couple of days, but the poopy took a bit longer. He would go if we could grab him in time, but would not tell us he had to go. We finally decided a little bribery was in order, so out came the lollipops. Now when he needs to go poopy, he tells us "lollipop" and off we go to do his business, quickly followed by many cheers and a lollipop.

ENORMOUS

Yep, one of the many words E can read. She is only in kindergarten, but is truly the most amazing reader. Just the other day, she was reading her homework which included the word "enormous" and without hesitation, she read it. No help, no pause nothing, just as if she had been reading words that size for year. She continues to make me proud of her skill as well as her love and excitement for reading.

Mommy are you going to die?

Earlier this week and I was sick and apparantly it was a little worrisome to R

R- "Mommy are you going to die?"
Me- "No, why?"
R- "Papa was sick and he died"
Me- "No, I just have a bug in my tummy, Papa's body was broken"


Then he hugged me and kissed me holding on a little longer than normal.

She can do it all

E is so amazing. She is brilliant, beautiful the list goes on and on. Everything she does, she does well. When she started TKD, it wasn't long before she was being praised by other parents and instructors for her skill. Recently she started tumbling. Already she is showing so much progress. During class she is extremely focused and gives each attempt her all. Watching her grow has been so exciting (although sometimes exhausting) and I can't wait to see where her life takes her.

Undies

or as J says it unDEES. J loves undies. He will point to and comment whenever he sees them whether they are in a laundry basket, on a person or hiding under his sisters dress (which he promptly searches for).

Hoping to stimulate some interest potty training we put J in Thomas undies. Although he loves trains and is absolutely fascinated with undies the potty business was a no go.

His breakthrough toy

As is always the case just after Christmas, we try to get rid of some of the old/no longer used toys to make room. While Daddy and I were recently going through the toys, we came accross this shape sorter. Although expecting an argument, I told Daddy we must keep this one. Without hesitation he not only agreed, but commented (with tears in his eyes) that it was J's breakthrough toy. Strangely enough, he was right.

About 2 months before J turned 2, he hadn't yet begun to talk and was still struggling with attachment. He found this toy and it quickly became a favorite. Hundreds of times throughout the day he would point to the shapes asking us to label them. In no time he had them all memorized, from the trapezoid to the hexagon. Shortly after, he began to open up and not only turned a corner with his speech, but also with his attachment. Before that point we were very worried about his development, but he with that toy and his desire to master it he showed us how incredibly bright he is.

The park

Often Daddy will give me a break and take the kids to the park. They really enjoy the park and I think Daddy gets a kick out of watching them play. Just the other day, he took the kids as well as my new camera and snapped a few pictures for me.

My favorite friend

Tonight just before bath, R very seriously said to me "mommy- you're my favorite friend". Needless to say, my heart melted.